В свете его недавнего появления на Colbert

Turns out the secret to faster-than-light travel was generating energy by creating positive vibes by just being nice to eachother and hoping we all do *really* well in life. No wonder we never figured it out.

Neil is a fucking dick

I’ll be honest, I alway figured itd be something stupid like that. Maybe not to that degree, maybe a little more sensicle, but still WAY off from anything we have going. They’d ve like «What? You use rockets? No no, we just use air! Pump that ring full of air all around, get you 50 lightyears/min for a week Earth time. Easy shit! Just make sure you have lots of fans to generate more air, never go empty!»

I did something like this for a series of stories I write; They’re kind of like «Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy» meets «Dogma.»

In it I stage Roswell as an «Interstellar DWI Incident» where it’s two protagonists, one of whom is a neurodivergent, grey alien with a substance abuse problem misjudged the trajectory of his spacecraft by 180 degrees and slams it into the New Mexican desert.

Then I run through post WW2 advancements in avionics being a product of reverse engineering said craft, all except for it’s «FTL propulsion system» which is made up of floating little puff-ball flaura/fauna from an alien planet that generate antigravity in order to propagate across a massive garden world alot like honeybees do on earth.

The little creatures are triggered by a sweet scent a plant like flora gives off, vibrating excessively just before expending a loud that sounds like «EEEEEEERP!».

All this comes at the dismay of a Skunkwork’s machinist who reveals one of the engine compartments’ last occupants after dismantling where the engine would be; only to find a fuzzy, floating little pink ball staring dead at him with a lollipop clenched tightly between his teeth followed by the noise «EEEEEEERP!» and being «Skullf*cked, softly, 142 million times in less than a second. »

After this, the perverted little creature was dubbed «The Giggity Puff» and the tale of it’s discovery a long held rumor the likes of which mirrored others throughout history such as «King Midas Touch» or «Pandora’s Box» except this tale was both gravely true and told nervously from beside a Lockheed Martin water cooler.

I can’t remember exactly how it read but this is a pretty similar, summed up version that’s still pretty f*cking funny

but your tv screen is powered by an light transmitted crystal diode! you didn’t know that?

This is legit how Orks in 40K work

That’s genuinely very funny

I think that if his head literally exploded, I could swallow the woo more easily

what is going on with this post. 1.3k upvotes but only 83 comments?

Yep


I probably work with a couple of them

The only one who travels with the power of Tarot cards and fancy stones, is the guy who sells them to you, because he can afford a expensive vacation.

And counting in that so many people buy these «power ups», he will get rich with light speed.

«Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic.» — Arthur C. Clarke

I’m fairly convinced that over the centuries, we’ve been groomed to be ultra-materialistic.

Religion and God have served their purpose, and it’s now aggressively being replaced with «science and hard facts».

This «science», can only be understood by the elite and their scientists (which they fund), and we have no choice but to take their word for it because 99.98% of the shit they say can’t even be verified.

We’ve been conditioned to distrust our own eyes, ears, and our fellow man.

Scientists are the new «priest class». There is an aggressive push to destroy any sense of spirituality for the common man.

This made my day.

Is that a bald Patrick Bet David?

So 40k space technology?