В свете его недавнего появления на Colbert

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В свете его недавнего появления на Colbert

In the light of his recent appearance on Colbert
byu/SamTahaHaha inaliens

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37 комментарий для “В свете его недавнего появления на Colbert”
  1. I can’t remember whether it was on r/WritingPrompts or a similar subreddit where someone was trying to find a short story where Space Travel was actually really easy, and for whatever reason we hadn’t figured it out.

    So when Aliens first made contact with Earth in their ramshackle spaceships they were stunned at our level of technology.

    Like «Yeah we have come from halfway across the galaxy, in a few weeks/months. Sorry What is a Radio/Telephone?»

  2. Turns out the secret to faster-than-light travel was generating energy by creating positive vibes by just being nice to eachother and hoping we all do *really* well in life. No wonder we never figured it out.

  3. I’ll be honest, I alway figured itd be something stupid like that. Maybe not to that degree, maybe a little more sensicle, but still WAY off from anything we have going. They’d ve like «What? You use rockets? No no, we just use air! Pump that ring full of air all around, get you 50 lightyears/min for a week Earth time. Easy shit! Just make sure you have lots of fans to generate more air, never go empty!»

  4. I did something like this for a series of stories I write; They’re kind of like «Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy» meets «Dogma.»

    In it I stage Roswell as an «Interstellar DWI Incident» where it’s two protagonists, one of whom is a neurodivergent, grey alien with a substance abuse problem misjudged the trajectory of his spacecraft by 180 degrees and slams it into the New Mexican desert.

    Then I run through post WW2 advancements in avionics being a product of reverse engineering said craft, all except for it’s «FTL propulsion system» which is made up of floating little puff-ball flaura/fauna from an alien planet that generate antigravity in order to propagate across a massive garden world alot like honeybees do on earth.

    The little creatures are triggered by a sweet scent a plant like flora gives off, vibrating excessively just before expending a loud that sounds like «EEEEEEERP!».

    All this comes at the dismay of a Skunkwork’s machinist who reveals one of the engine compartments’ last occupants after dismantling where the engine would be; only to find a fuzzy, floating little pink ball staring dead at him with a lollipop clenched tightly between his teeth followed by the noise «EEEEEEERP!» and being «Skullf*cked, softly, 142 million times in less than a second. »

    After this, the perverted little creature was dubbed «The Giggity Puff» and the tale of it’s discovery a long held rumor the likes of which mirrored others throughout history such as «King Midas Touch» or «Pandora’s Box» except this tale was both gravely true and told nervously from beside a Lockheed Martin water cooler.

    I can’t remember exactly how it read but this is a pretty similar, summed up version that’s still pretty f*cking funny

  5. I believe aliens may be interdimensional beings, and if some of these people meditating and doing breath techniques to astral project and travel between dimensional planes are right… then maybe it isn’t really scientific! So many alien encounters sound psychedelic that it really makes ya wonder if there is something more to deep meditative states and drugs like DMT and salvia and what not.

  6. Kinda reminds me of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and how Slartibartfasts ship is powered by Bistromatics.

    > The Bistromath was a ship used by Slartibartfast, Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect to save the Universe from the people of Krikkit. It used the Bistromathic Drive to get through the universe. The ship looks exactly the same as that of an Italian restaurant and the ship’s trajectory can be modified by ordering different things on the menu and similar situational actions. The ship has also the «room of Informational Illusions».

    > Bistromathics is the most powerful computational force known to parascience. A major step up from the Infinite Improbability Drive, Bistromathics is a way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement through space, so it was realised that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer’s movement in restaurants.


  7. The only one who travels with the power of Tarot cards and fancy stones, is the guy who sells them to you, because he can afford a expensive vacation.

    And counting in that so many people buy these «power ups», he will get rich with light speed.

  8. It brings a great point.

    The phenomenon/aliens could be so annoyingly foreign to our preconceptions of life and technology. That it could indeed be simple shit like rubbing crystals together to make a warp drive for them. Or vibrating a stack of Granite and Basalt arranged around an acoustic chamber to turn sound produced from Earth seismicity into piezoelectric power.

    I’m not saying physics will be different. Just that their approach and intuition will be completely different and might result in technologies that look as simple as clapping crystals together to make warp fields but are exquisitely advanced.

    I wonder how outdated our greatest scientific biases will become in even the next 10 years.

  9. I’m fairly convinced that over the centuries, we’ve been groomed to be ultra-materialistic.

    Religion and God have served their purpose, and it’s now aggressively being replaced with «science and hard facts».

    This «science», can only be understood by the elite and their scientists (which they fund), and we have no choice but to take their word for it because 99.98% of the shit they say can’t even be verified.

    We’ve been conditioned to distrust our own eyes, ears, and our fellow man.

    Scientists are the new «priest class». There is an aggressive push to destroy any sense of spirituality for the common man.

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